Thoughts

My morning reading/journaling time is very precious to me.

Why?

I’m afraid to let go of my thoughts, because I keep thinking they have the answers to my problems.

It helps me bring logic to my emotions, which slows down my thinking enough to be able to close my eyes to start meditating. It also creates a record of my thoughts so I can review and consolidate my thinking, which gives me a feeling of closure and order.

I remember first really trying it on my own in my early 20’s. I tried to get in the habit of doing a morning Bible study. I didn’t think it worked very well because I was expecting more out of it. I thought it would somehow change my day in a drastic way, but I realize I was being impatient in my expectations. On the other hand, I was developing a habit. Now that I am 48, and have been reading and journaling for all these years, I have a whole history of my thoughts to refer back to someday. I have hope that this will help provide some meaning in the future.

It also seems to satisfy my need for avarice; hoarding because I don’t want to let go. There is also a lot of judgement in the thought that my reading/journaling time is precious.

I can just pray 🤲 for God to help me let go of attitudes, memories, and thoughts that are troubling me.

I am nothing

Then by being nothing, I can transcend time psychologically and reset the day, having seen new borders of my abilities and thoughts, and then create the day in a new way. Instead of afraid and annoyed, I can (Isaiah 32:2) be like a shelter from the wind and a refuge from the storm, like streams of water in the desert and the shadow of a great rock in a thirsty land.

I can strive to live up to “But the noble man makes noble plans, and by noble deeds he stands.”

Maps of Meaning 09:

God the Father is the Spirit of the Walled City